


Pasties

by Silent_So_Long



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Comedy, Crack, Food, Gen, Humor, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-10
Updated: 2011-08-10
Packaged: 2017-10-22 11:49:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/237706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silent_So_Long/pseuds/Silent_So_Long
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel becomes confused over a simple pasty.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pasties

**Author's Note:**

> Considering that Cornish Pasties feature heavily in this story, I've included a photo of one, for those who may not know what they look like, lol. They're an English dish, and have meat and vegetables inside the pastry casing.
> 
>   
> [   
> ](http://tinypic.com?ref=2ic0428)   
> 

Dean startled when he heard the distinct sounds of Sam suddenly choking loudly into the otherwise quiet motel room. Thinking that his brother possibly needed help via the Heimlich manoeuvre, Dean stumbled to his feet. He stopped long before he even got to Sam’s side, however, stilled into shocked disbelief at the sight of Castiel standing in the middle of the room. Dean could see why Sam had began to choke; his brother hadn’t been in distress, he’d been laughing.

Castiel was no longer wearing his usual tan coat and dark suit; instead, he was wearing a pair of sexy little boxers with two Cornish Pasties dangling precariously from both nipples. The angel was still wearing his usual stoic expression however, dark blue eyes serious and forthright. Sam was felled; his large frame was spread across his bed, shaking with unstoppable laughter. His long limbs flailed helplessly, making the younger Winchester look quite ridiculous. Dean had to concede, however, that Sam didn’t look as ridiculous as Castiel currently was.

“Cas,” Dean said, carefully, feeling distinctly awkward over dealing with the current situation.

“Yes, Dean,” Castiel replied, turning his liquidly serious gaze onto him.

“Dude, don’t take this the wrong way, but why do you have Cornish Pasties dangling from your nipples?” Dean asked, carefully, studiously trying to avoid staring and failing quite grandly.

“It is what exotic dancers wear on the stage,” Castiel replied, earnestly. “They wear sexy underwear and pasties on their nipples while they dance.”

Sam’s laughs began to border on the hysterical now, leaving the younger hunter helpless and in tears. It also left Dean as the only coherent Winchester in the room. Even Dean was trying not to laugh, however, lips twitching as he struggled to hold back on his laughter.

“Dude, you do know that these exotic dancers have tassels on their nipples, don’t you?” he asked the angel as he rested one fatherly hand upon Castiel’s naked shoulder.

Castiel gave him the ubiquitous head tilt of confused doom, eyebrows furrowed as he struggled to understand Dean.

“Then why are they called pasties? I am of the understanding that pasties are small parcels of pastry shaped like semicircles, enclosing minced meat and vegetables,” he said.

“Yeah, Cas, that’s the other kind of pasties,” Dean said, leaning into the angel now and hiding his laughter against Castiel’s shoulder.

Castiel rested his hands against Dean’s waist and watched him, still looking confused.

“I thought that I would entertain you and Sam. You have both been going through a lot of stress lately, and you need a distraction. Are you not entertained, Dean?” he asked, hopefully.

“Oh, yeah, I’m entertained, Cas,” Dean replied. “I don't think in the way you intended, though. Are you entertained, Sam?”

“Yes,” Sam choked out between great gusts of continuous laughter.

“I would like to dance for you now, if that’s alright?” Castiel asked, sincerely.

“Sure, go ahead. I have to see this,” Dean said, as he finally stepped away from the angel and perched on the edge of his bed.

He watched avidly as Castiel began to swivel his hips, Cornish Pasties beginning to revolve on his chest. Sam sat up, large frame still wracked with giggles, as he watched the dancing angel with rapt fascination.

“He’s pretty good, Dean,” Sam commented, as he nudged his brother.

Dean had to agree; after all, even though Castiel had chosen the wrong kind of pasties for his display, it didn’t detract from the fact that the angel could really dance. It really took the biscuit for Dean, however, when Castiel wiggled his bum directly into his face, making Sam hoot with laughter all over again. Dean, red-faced and embarrassed, nudged Sam’s thigh with his own.

“Why did he pick me to do that? Why didn’t you get his ass in your face?” he asked, as Castiel came perilously close to giving Dean a lap-dance.

“He likes you more than he does me, Dean,” Sam said, not sounding as though he currently minded. “You have that bond and all. It means you get a free lap dance.”

“Shut up,” Dean muttered, before he tucked a ten dollar bill into the waistband of Castiel’s boxers.

Sam almost split his sides with laughter at that, leading him to wonder if Dean wasn’t enjoying Castiel’s very unique form of entertainment after all. When Castiel had finished, he looked to Dean as though for approval, which wasn’t long in coming. Both Winchester brothers cheered and clapped, leading Castiel to blush and toe the carpet with one bare foot.

“I pleased you,” he said, shyly.

“Yeah, dude, you can do that again sometime,” Dean suddenly blurted out, happily.

Sam impaled Dean with an amused look and Dean did his best to try and ignore him.

“Can I have one of your pasties?” Dean asked, eying one of the pastry products hungrily. “I’m hungry.”

“Of course,” Castiel replied, readily, as he unhooked one of the Cornish Pasties from his nipple. “Sam, would you like the other one?”

Sam looked about ready to barf, but he shook his head anyway.

“Nah, you’re good, Cas. You eat it,” he said, as he turned away slightly to avoid seeing Dean happily devouring a slightly sweaty Cornish Pasty.

Castiel shrugged and consumed his own pasty daintily, sitting beside Dean as he did so. They were silent then, until the pasties were gone, whereupon Dean gently requested that Castiel go put some clothes back on. Castiel obeyed, only returning once his usual attire was wonkily back in place. Dean found himself thinking, as he adjusted the angel’s clothing deftly, that despite how well Castiel could dance, he still couldn’t dress himself properly. Sam was left wondering why Dean had had become so proficient at adjusting Castiel’s clothing, while Castiel merely stood there patiently and gently smiled.

~~ the end ~~


End file.
